Why we're all failing at self-care (but you can do better!)

What is one of the first things that comes to mind when you think about needing to make changes to be happier in your life?

I'm guessing self-care is on that list.

Self-care has gained a lot of popularity as a buzzword in the last several years when it comes to personal development and improving our lives.

But if it's such an important piece, why are so many of us still feeling trapped, discontented?

Because self-care is in direct conflict with the way we are wired!

We are wired to put others first. We are wired to make sure that we are being a helpful contributing member of society (so that we don't get kicked out of the cave), no matter what we want or need for ourselves.

We're taught to put those needs last.

So it could be argued that self-care comes down to learning to put ourselves first. And yeah, that's part of it.

But then, let's say I go ahead and make the decision, "Today, I'm going to be my top priority, I'm going to make myself the top of the list!"

What happens then?

Well, if...

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5 ways you may be sabotaging yourself!

You have dreams. You have a vision for the life you want to be living.


We all do. That’s part of what makes us HUMAN!


But if we have these dreams, why are we so often not LIVING them?


Why do we keep striving for them and wanting them and wishing for them… and still not having them?


So often, we can see that life SOOO clearly… except we’re still not living it. Still not able to get there. Still stuck living the reality where we feel trapped.


But the reality is that ANYTHING is possible for you.


So why don’t you have what you want already?


Here are five common reasons I’ve found when working with my clients.


#1: You don’t really know what you want.


This was so true for me for so long. I THOUGHT I knew what I wanted, except that I wasn’t sure if it felt right still. This was true before I bought my practice, when I knew I wanted to be more in control of my life and thought...

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The power of intention (or not having any...)

I spent last week on PTO, my first full true 9 days of vacation and not answering my phone and not working in YEARS!


It was absolutely amazing.


The first half was spent at home with my family for my birthday and the second half was spent in Cancun for one of my best friend’s weddings.


As I was planning the Cancun branch (really the whole week, but the Cancun trip specifically), I ran into an interesting situation that was hugely valuable as a reminder to me, so I wanted to share it with you.


If you’ve been with me long at all, you know I freaking love to travel. It is my passion in life.


And I had never been to Mexico (despite living so close to the border several times in my life…). 


So needless to say, I was unbelievably excited for this trip, especially when you add in the lack of travel or seeing people during COVID, and I was both traveling and seeing one of my favorite people!


Anyway, the wedding was at a...

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I totally ignored my coach… and now I look back.

Today, I want to share with you one of the biggest lessons I ever learned (and if I’m honest, I am still learning).


This past weekend was my birthday (my favorite day of the year, even on days I’ve worked!). 


When asked what I wanted to do, I decided to walk to downtown (the children would say I DRAGGED them out of the house…) to wander some of the shops and get out of the house.


While wandering, I saw a sign that spoke to me so much that I had to bring it home.

“The Beach: Where doing absolutely nothing is doing something.”


So true, right?


But it reminded me of a very powerful lesson.


When talking to several of my clients this past week, the subject of self-care came up over and over.


One client asked how she could fit in self-care when she was already so exhausted.


Yep, I resonate with that. I have a tendency to go go go until I’m absolutely exhausted as well, then I crash.



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How to stop feeling trapped, anywhere

Happy July!


Back when I first experienced burnout, one of the biggest feelings was that of being trapped.


I felt like there were zero options.


I couldn’t leave the field. I wasn’t even sure I could leave my job. 


I didn’t see any other ways out.


Ever felt this way?

So many of us have, it’s such a common thing in our field, especially with our high rate of burnout.


And when we feel like that, we ask ourselves questions.


“Why did this happen?”

“Why do I feel this way?”
“Why is it so hard?”

“How did this happen?”

“What can I do to change it?”


But the problem is… all of those questions have one thing in common.


They’re focusing on the wish that things were different.


But they aren’t. 


They are what they are, history has already occurred and can’t be changed.


So we feel trapped when we...

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The unexpected decision that changed everything

I hit burnout for the second time in 2015, only six months after I bought my own practice.


I had purchased a practice thinking that being able to be the boss, practice the way I wanted, when I wanted… would solve all of my problems after being in so many toxic environments.


Unfortunately, it only escalated the situation.


Instead of feeling like I had more freedom, I felt more trapped.


Instead of being able to enjoy the veterinary field again, I started hating it even more (at the time, I hadn’t known that was possible).


But then, in one second, my entire life changed.


During the course of our lives, there are moments where things happen.


Decisions are made. 

Experiences occur.


And in those seconds, we can look back and see a huge pivot in the direction of our life.


Up until then, I had been brainstorming ways to get out of owning a practice. Could I sell already? Except I had only just bought it. 

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The most commonly missed boundary

Hey friend!


Last night we did a workshop on boundaries with the Happy Vet Society members. 


There was an underlying theme during the majority of the workshop that I wanted to share with you today.


During the workshop, we discussed several different boundary situations. We talked about how to respond when “friends” (aka random people) message us asking for free veterinary advice. We discussed how to handle constant contact and questions from staff on our days off (especially when there’s other docs in the building). We also chatted about setting boundaries around appointments, how many to see and what to do when short staffed.


And we found a common thread throughout these situations: Our need to people-please, and our guilt when we don’t!


Boundaries are one of the most important things we can implement to truly transform our lives.


But the thing that is so often missed is that there are two kinds of boundaries:...

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Can I Be Real With You For A Second?


Can I be real with you for a second?


With social media and emails, it’s really easy to make our lives look good.


And trust me, I get that my life is pretty damn amazing.


But here’s the part you don’t see on social media…


The last couple of weeks have been a major struggle.


I don’t mean just a struggle of what should I post or what should I talk about?


But a full blown attempt of my depression returning.


We often talk about how we create our reality and how when we take control of our lives, we can achieve our dreams.


And this is still true.


But what sometimes doesn’t get talked about enough is that it’s not always easy.


About the fact that we have to make the choice EVERY SINGLE DAY when we wake up to do what we need to do for ourselves and our dreams, instead of letting ourselves get sucked back into survival mode (in my case, I get sucked into netflix movies or smutty...

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